Trasa Citizen

[Steph]

Apprehension and Trial by Zelda Jones-Bergerdoninski

The apprehension of Jourgen Gallyn and his escort to trial will take place on May 16th. Said apprehension is to start at 8:30pm (EST) and will be assigned to new CBI recruits. Recruits have been chosen as Jourgen appears to be a minimal flight risk.

The trial is scheduled to take place in the Trasa Administration building at 9pm (EST) and is open to the public.

If found guilty, Mr. Gallyn will be sent to CBI jail for a period not to exceed 5 minutes and will be forced to resign his commission in the CBI. If found innocent, he will be returned to his full pay grade and stature within the CBI.

[Steph]

Supply Store Under New Management by Ricky "Scoop" Dorsten

Shalindra Dragonspring has stepped down as the Manager and Owner of the Supply Store on the boardwalk in southeast Trasa. The store was purchased by Reth Munei for an undisclosed sum.

The Supply Store caters to shipping companies and acts as a warehouse for ship's stores. Business is booming, as many sailors are seen going into and coming out of the Supply Store on a regular basis.

Ms Dragonspring, an immigrant from the continent of Ynillia, started the Supply Store several months ago and has agreed to be the Assistant Manager for a time.

[Steph]

Surprise Marriage by Zelda Jones-Bergerdoninski

I spotted Senior Drill Instructor Staff Sergeant Hacker today, as he breathlessly rushed about Trasa looking for, of all things, a wedding ring!

Before I could interview him, he jumped on the teleporter to Alta. While some folks were gathered near the teleporter, he came back and asked Jaxx to be his best man. Still wondering what all the commotion was about, I sidled closer to eavedrop on the conversation. He was to wed Luna Castile, High Priestess from the planet Sirene!

In a short ceremony in the wedding chapel at the Trasa Administration building, they tied the knot. Several people were in attendance, along with a couple of canars.

As I left the building to get this into print, a scuffle broke out about "territory." Jaxx, Kredisha Demia, Luna, Hacker and a bunch of thier animal friends repelled the canars.

Afterward, Luna and Hacker headed off to parts unknown for their honeymoon.

[Krimson Blood]

By Ricky "Scoop" Dorsten
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In a surprising turn of events, those wanting to lynch hard working officer and all around good guy, Jourgen Gallyn of the CBI, were in for a rude awakening as a lack of evidence and a lack of a prosecutor led to a lack of a case. Judge Milenesen ruled Jourgen innocent of all charges after witness were examined and well... examined (did I mention the lack of a prosecution?) and no proof of wrongdoing could be brought forth.

Probably the most vehement opponents to the ruling were Ana Dalfini, stong supporter of the suspected terrorist organization the PFA, as well as Pathera Norans. Miss Dalfini had difficulty saying anything relevent to the case at hand, and drifted off topic repeatedly. Miss Norans, seemed out of sorts, and seemed to be undergoing some personal stress.

This reporter would like to thank the people of Trasa for their support in this long and stressful journey. It is still undetermined who blew up my house, but I can at least rest assured knowing the CBI will no longer be under wrongful scrutiny. As for Jourgen's opponents. Guys! A prosecutor? Couldn't you scrounge up enough cash amongst the three of you to hire a lawyer? Or did you spend your last credits trying to buy some hope?

[Steph]

Near Meltdown of BotCo Reactor by Ricky “Scoop” Dorsten

The continent of Charta was rocked yesterday by the sounding of warning horns and an announcement from the “Eye In The Sky” reconnaissance satellite that the BotCo nuclear reactor was approaching critical mass. Fire crews and other emergency personnel were dispatched and quickly treated the radiation burn victims.

If an actual meltdown had occurred, West Trasa would have been flooded with nuclear radiation and an effect known as “The Exotera Syndrome” would have occurred. Since Exotera in directly on the opposite of the planet, the nuclear core would reach such a temperature as to sink into the ground and, theoretically, dig a hole all the way to Exotera.

The highly irradiated robots from the factory will be decontaminated as much as possible and sold to the general public for a slightly higher price as nightlights.

The only deaths sustained were a small group of citizens who rushed to the scene to lend aid. They fell into a sinkhole directly over the reactor core and were incinerated instantly.

Many had twin brothers or sisters, who were seen later carrying on as if they had not gotten the word about their siblings deaths.

Our hearts go out to the families.

[Steph]

“Animals Escape” by Ricky “Scoop” Dorsten

It the very first article that I ever wrote (“Cow Sighted in East Trasa”) I made mention of the fact that the cow seemed to belong to the Clampett Estate. That same cow was seen along with several of its brethren and sistren, along with some porkbeasts, grazelles, aguovans, a few canars, some Chetals and a very large eagle. They had congregated in the park; calmly munching the carefully cultivated flowers and tended lawns, and drinking and bathing in the pool.

Several bystanders watched amusedly as the Trasa Guardbots tried vainly to round up the wayward animals and return them to the Clampett Estate. Ever see a guardbot try to catch a porkbeast? Cries of, “Halt! By order of the general council and the Police Chief and Mayor of Trasa, I am placing you under arrest for the crime of damage to city property!” filled the air. Most animals simply ignored the remarks and continued “graze-bathing.”

A psychic canar, known as Reka, along with a blue-skinned Marae, named Pio’We’O’E’ Eye’O, escorted several of the animals to the KoraMil forest where the creatures were released on their own recognizance.

No injuries to the animals or humans were reported. However, many thousands of blades of grass, several dozen petunias, and several leaves were reported dead.

The Mayor has levied a 500, 000 credit fine against the Clampetts. When asked about the fine and the escape, the patriarch, Jud Clampett, had this to say, “Weeeeell, animules is animules.”

[Steph]

Sting Freed By Zelda Jones-Bergerdoninski

Captured in the hospital by intrepid CBI agents, and sentenced to jail for thirty minutes, Sting was released after serving her entire sentence. Several of her friends were eagerly awaiting her release and were overjoyed as she walked free to taste the fresh air.

Instead of leaving the facility immediately, she wandered aimlessly around CBI HQ, forcing an emergency evacuation of the facility. All biological entities were force-transported out, and robotic guards swept the place for any signs of contaminants.

After a few minutes, the headquarters was declared safe and normal operations were restored.

Did Sting learn her lesson? Probably not. The fact remains, that she is now free to foment more hate and discontent around Charta.

[Steph]

New Mad Dog Team members by Ricky "Scoop" Dorsten

The qualifications for admission to the Mad Dog Team, the CBI's elite troops, got off to a fairly slow start today as only one agent originally showed up. Agent Shilandaria Vilo began the assault course with the robot agent BX 44398=5a and the well-known archer Kage looking on.

It was soon determined that Agent Vilo would need help to complete the course, so CBI Director Althius Bergerdoninski gave the green light for the general public to help. Agent Draco Munei, and Dark Invader soon joined the fray, followed closely by Morgan and Agent Nurse Jenny (who is one of the founding members of the MDT) and an unnamed lady with silver skin.

After battling for several hours, the team defeated all foes.

All except the silver-skinned lady (who mysteriously disappeared) received the "Order of the Silver Flame Award," and some specialized gear.

Our heartiest congratulations go the newest, baddest, buffest, warriors of the Mad Dog Team.

//Okay, the UKB was a little rough, and after fighting it for 20+ minutes, the DM limboed it.

//The gear was authorized by The Great Deity (Hazmatt) and cannot be found anywhere in the game. These are specially crafted items. To those that received them, sell them if you want, but be warned that you may NEVER see them again.

//MDT members, please don't recraft the armor or helms. They will I.D. you as belonging to the MDT.

[Steph]

Psycho Santa has Returned by Ricky "Scoop" Dorsten

A source inside the CBI has confirmed reports that Psycho Santa has returned and set up shop somewhere near Trasa.

Several Mad Dog Team members volunteered to search and apprehend the dangerous felon, but only one was chosen. It was deemed that, due to the harsh climes that might be encountered, Agent Veronica Leighton, Chief of Station-Grunthar, should be the agent to bring him to justice.

Agent Leighton, "Phee" to her friends, tracked the errant psychotic murderer with the help of her trained dragon, Amir.

Battling through the frigid temperatures to find Psycho Santa's Workshop, the pair encountered ravenous rabid reindeer and execrable evil elves blocked their way.

As Psycho Santa was led away in handcuffs, Agent Leighton had this to say, "Got him."

Psycho Santa is currently awaiting trial in the CBI's holding facility.
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SPECIAL REPORT
Psycho Santa Escapes! By Ricky "Scoop" Dorsten

Psycho Santa escaped from t he CBI's Class D prison facility using a special white, sparkly powder which had been secreted on his person and overlooked by the guard in charge of processing him. The guard is now the janitor.

If Psycho Santa is spotted, all citizen's are urged to run like hell in the other direction and call the CBI or local police. Never, ever, under any circumstances, try to apprehend the fat git by yourself.

Psycho Santa is easy to spot, as he is the only fat git wearing a red suit, pointed hat, with a beard, yelling "HAR HAR HAR and Ho-Dee Ho-Dee HO HO" at the top of his lungs.

[Steph]

Has Badd Gye Gone Good? by Ricky "Scoop" Dorsten

This reporter was covering a game of Full-Contact Roleplaying in East Trasa, when M'Eltrus Thel'Amon rushed by pursued closely by CBI Chief of Station-Valos Pathera Norans.

M'Eltrus, if you will remember was known as "Badd Gye" and was captured several months ago, and sentenced to death in the Execution Pits of Grunthar. After enduring the pain of death twice, he was released, his sentence fulfilled. Information has come to light that a clone of M'Eltrus, still calling itself Badd Gye has been sighted in the far reaches of Northern Valos.

With that in mind, this reporter followed the pair as quickly as he could (the final score of the Full-Contact Roleplaying game was 49 to Q). They both entered the same place mere steps apart, Agent Norans with her weapons drawn.

As this reporter entered the same place, he heard much crashing and banging, but no voices or cries for help.

The pair quickly ran down a long, dark tunnel, which this reporter was no fool to enter.

After a lengthy period of time, they re-emerged with Psycho Santa, once again in handcuffs.

After depositing him at CBI HQ to await trial for his crimes, M'Eltrus and Norans went off in search of the elusive Vorpal Penguin. This reporter trailed them to the Vorpal Penguin's lair, and listened to the intense waged in the main chamber.

Wait a minute, did you read that right? The former "Badd Gye" aiding the CBI? The same people who arrested him and saw him put to death?

You heard it here first, folks. Badd Gye has apparently gone good. Stay tuned for further details on this astonishing development.

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Gone Again! By Ricky "Scoop" Dorsten

Psycho Santa has once again escaped custody! An intense investigation was launched whereby it was determined that he laid his middle finger aside his nose, and up the airshaft he rose.

He was last seen driving off in a red Vlaksvagen being pulled by 8 rabid reindeer and I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, "See ya later, ya gits!"

//Geek points

[joanzy]

Controversy! By Bjorn Habberdash
In case you’ve been living under a rock/just don’t care, elven lobbyist group, YAMOM (Ynarans Against the Militaristic Orcish Movement), has begun running controversial ads around Trasa and on holoTV many of which violently depict the elven slave trade in Grunthar. The ads have sparked controversy among concerned parents because of their gruesome content. “I don’t want my kids seeing some elf’s teeth being taken out with a butterknife! Do you know how much ‘don’t worry, honey, it’s not real’ I had to give to my kids!?” a miffed parent has stated. But according to the elven group, they’re just trying to spread awareness. “Dude, so many people don’t even know that this injustice is happening, we’re just like trying to make people aware, so they’ll like stop stealing people, you know?” a spokesman for the group has said.

The trasan mayor’s office has said that they’re taking the concerns of all sides seriously, being in tough position of trying to balance trade with Grunthar and the concerns of parents with humanitarian concerns. “We’re very concerned with Ynara’s problems,” an official leaving the mayor’s office said “We’ve spent many nights with YAMOM, trying to figure out some solutions.”
Another man leaving the mayor’s office had this to say: “Huh? I ain’t no ‘suit’. Ah wuz jus fixin’ some wirin’ problemz in thare.”
Whether YAMOM will continue its controversial campaign and how the mayor will handle it remains to be seen.

[Steph]

Plot Foiled! by Ricky "Scoop" Dorsten

A bid for power in unstable Valos was dashed today as Reth Munei, aided by several others, attempted to take over the city.

The small group fought their way to Valos, hampered at every turn by Inner Eye goons who had help from some Dark Elves. as they entered the Valos Palace, they were met by none other than Kal'Mah, the legendary being from another planet who had supposedly been vanquished last year.

After a brief, but pitched battle inside the palace, they confronted Lord Vermon and gave him an ulimatum. Surrender the Pleasure Palace and atone for the death of one of Reth's "employees" or suffer the consequences.

Lord Vermon failed to capitulate, instead summoning a rogue faction of the Auro-Chi, known as "The Hand of Five."

During the ensuing melee, Lord Vermon managed to escape to whereabouts unknown.

[Steph]

//This is the outcome of "Liberation"

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Reth Munei Found Guilty! by Zelda Jones-Bergerdoninski

An elaborate scheme to bing down one of Charta's most conniving citizen's came to a head today when Reth Munei was found guilty of attempted genocide and sentenced to death in the Grunthar Execution pits.

The tale began to unfold several months ago when the "Supply Store Slut" struck an agreement with my husband, Althius Bergerdoninski, the CBI's Director.

She agreed to exchange sexual favors with him in return for his compliance in "ignoring" certain shipments smuggled in from Exotera. The exchange was this writer's idea, designed to aid the CBI in apprehending the vile creature on something other than prostitution.

For the next few months, agents worked diligently to gather intelligence on the skanky ho. When Reth asked Chief of Station Alta, Shilandaria Vilo to aid her in the total eradication of the Grunthians and liberation of the slaves, Agent Vilo did the only she knew and reported the incident to Director Bergerdoninski.

Reth acted with the intentions that only a true Ynaran could. Her heart was in the right place, but her methods were unsound.

As you know, slavery is legal under Grag Prime's rule. Most of the slaves come from Ynara, however, woe be to the wayward human traveler who is not his or her guard. They will find themselves being sold to Grunthian miners or worse.

Director B gathered two of his finest agents, notified the Grag Prime, and pretended to go along with the charade.

Grag Prime, in turn contaced some fireant-breeders in order to appear that Grunthar was being overrun. When Reth and CBI agents Vilo and Spyder stepped out of the Grunthar cave, Reth was immediately arrested and taken before Grag Prime who gave her a choice: Death by Grag Prime, himself; Death by Execution Lizards; or Death by CBI. If she had chosen the last option, further delays would have transpired as the proper paperwork would have had to be filed, appeals made, appeals rejected, more appeals, ad nauseum; then the method of execution would have had to selected, executioners found, executioners selected, executioners paid; the whole thing would drag on for years while the taxpaying citizens (those few who DO actually pay their taxes) would have to foot the bill while she waited in the CBI holding cell.

Under Grunthian law, if the victim convict does not decide within one minute of sentencing, it is the Grag Prime's choice. She didn't, he did. Death by Execution Lizard.

Reth Munei put up quite a fight, I must say. She slew all of the Execution Lizards. The Grag Prime was quite delighted and laughed uproariously at the show, commenting, "Best show me see all years!" whereupon Reth told him that she could show him something more.

He agreed and summoned an Unkillable Beast from his "private stash." Reth was toast.

Her sentence fulfilled, the EMT's arrived, and after a quick trip to the Hospital, she was free to leave.

For actions becoming the Charta Bureau of Investigation and courage under fire (not too mention the great restraint they showed in not killing the Grag Prime while watching Reth bite the big one) Chief of Station Alta Shilandaria Vilo and Field Agent Spyder were awarded the Blue Shield of Dignity and the Greenleaf Cluster.

Who says crime pays?

[joanzy]

Trasa Attacked! By Oswald B. Harmin

A vicious attack on Trasa by notorious criminal and work-out guru, 5% Chance of Rain Girl, ended today in a wake of death and destruction. 5% Chance of rain girl, known for her dastardly schemes and "Sweatin' to the sounds of DESTRUCTION!" work-out tapes was spotted earlier today with an army of ghoulish minions heading for the city. Mere moments later, panic broke loose as Trasa was enveloped by the twisted army. As the city lay in despair, the thunder-signal was lit as a last, desperate cry for help.

Mere minutes later, ThunderGirl emerged from the carnage, raining justice and dental-health pamphlets unto the evil invaders. Fighting valiantly, ThunderGirl was able to defeat 5%'s army, leaving 5% Chance of Rain girl no other choice but to retreat, cursing ThunderGirl's heroics as she did so.

When asked about the attack, a spokesman for the CBI was unavailable for comment.

For her courage in the face of evil, this city thanks ThunderGirl! Without her heroism, who knows what would have happened?

[Steph]

CBI HQ Destroyed! by Ricky "Scoop" Dorsten

Last night the city of Trasa was rocked by a massive underground explosion. The Eye In The Sky reconnaissance satellite detected an enormous heat bloom and radiation signature directly underneath the Trasa Administration building. This is the location of the Charta Bureau of Investigation's heavily fortified headquarters.

EMTbots, sirens blaring and bodies pulsing blue-red, raced to the scene. Some of the HAZbots activated their emergency teleportation units and beamed directly to the scene of the devastation.

Heavy duty SALVAGEbots were able to procure the surveillance logs from CBI HQ and immediately shipped them to an undisclosed facility for review of the accident.

The area surrounding CBI HQ was sealed off until the cause was determined.

Within a few hours, a statement was released to the press by Agnotha Felgstad, the CBI's press liaison.

Following is her statement:

----------------------------------------------

"At approximately 2119 hours last night, Agent Pathera Norans witnessed an Autoguard Major robot apparently attack an unarmed civilian on the streets of Trasa.

"Performing her duty, Agent Norans arrested the robot and took said unit to the CBI's holding cell where she interrogated it for several hours, while also conducting a background check of the unit.

"During questioning, the Autoguard stated several times that it had activated its self-defense system. This was confirmed by BotCo as that particular model is programmed to send a coded signal of every action it makes to BotCo's central computer system.

"Agent Norans then recommended reprogramming for the robot by one of CBI's engineers. The robot, as programmed, informed Agent Norans that it contained an anti-tamper circuit which was connected to a four megaton yield nuclear device. It made several statements that reprogramming was not advisable and sent another coded signal to BotCo advising of the intent.

"Before BotCo engineers could arrive at CBI HQ, the technician opened a panel, whereupon the auto destruct system was activated.

"Enough DNA was able to be recovered from the remains to institute regrowth of all personnel.

"The victims of the blast include Agents Norans, Smith, Jones, Doe, Brown, Green, White, Black, Redd, Skelly, Vice-Assistant-Step-Deputy in Charge of Cobweb Removal Gwenthal, and Junior-Assistant-Vice-Lieutenant in Charge of Wastepaper Disposal Rimmer (SSC, BSC). All should be cleared for duty within the next few minutes.

"The structure of the underground facility prevented radiation leakage into Trasa proper, however, citizens are warned to avoid (as much as possible) the Mayor's Office for the next few millenia. The Mayor is deemed to be safe as he doesn't have enough brain matter for the radiation (which doesn't exist) to damage.

"CONSTRUCTbots are rebuilding the HQ and are expected to complete the job within the hour.

"Agent Norans will be returned to her post with no black marks on her record. Accidents happen. She just needs to listen better when interrogating a suspect.

"Thank you."
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Well, it certainly seems as if the CBI is doing a crackerjack job of setting up shop again.

I'll bet Agent Norans will be more careful in the future.